My World Cup of Tea

Rather like the BBC who cover all of the World cup games I thought I would cover the three World Cup entries that effect me most in my time down under whilst the World Cup is on. I will offer a personal view on England as a supporter down under, Australia's progression through the eyes and views of the slightly deluded Australian media and lastly South Korea, because regardless of whether I wanted to follow their progress, living where I do and with those I do, it is nye on impossible not to.

England: 1-0. Good enough result despite a less than convincing performance, Sven is starting to remind me of someone who sits quietly in the corner of the office for 11 months of the year just pottering on doing his work and then goes to the Christmas party and gets blind drunk, not giving a damn and pi##ing on the buffet. His selection policy is beyond me and why he took Owen off and put Joe Cole upfront. Granted Joe Cole may be a better player than Theo Wallcott, So why take him then when Defoe would be a perfect replacement for Owen.

Australia: I bloody love Harry "Harry Cool" Kewell Me, Firstly they won 3-1, Well done Australia after 32 years since their last World cup (were they gained no points) they have their first 3pts against the mighty Japan! And the way the fans celebrated in Sydney you would of thought they had won the damn thing. Next on to the coverage we get out here. All the games are shown on SBS and well the pundits are deluded. Great words of wisdom include:

• Roy Keane was one of Manchester United greatest ever Strikers!
• England rely too much on Beckhams kicking!!!! ( Yer!! as a football team I agree we do rely too much, we should concentrate on utilising his Pole Vaulting and SwingBall talents instead)
• They say that our midfield is our weakness and that there is no one in that midfield that can take a freekick or score other than Beckham!
• They said that Sweden will win the group and England will battle it out for 2cnd place with Paraguay even after we won and Sweden drew

Basically they all chat bollards and slag England off to high heaven. A perfect example of their attitude was shown on the Australian version of Question time where a member of the public wrote in:

" I am an Englishman residing in Australia and I have noticed the increase in hostility shown towards us pommes in recent times on Australian telly, Anyone would think that we were the Convicts, I wasn't brought here on a banana boat you know!"

To which the silverhaired equivalent of Anne Robinson or Parkinson replied:

"In response to your comment good Sir, I have nothing to say, I will leave that to the Aussie cricket team when they spank you in the Ashes next year."

Mmmm diplomacy at its finest.

Lastly on to Korea, They are yet to play but they do so tonight. The result of the game I care for little, However the attitude and desire from the fans out here has to be admired if not slightly OTT. On Sunday (4 days before their fist game) The Korean Population of Sydney did a street parade to honor there team. On Sunday I went to play footy and in Hyde park there was a gang of about 20 KoKo's just chilling, making some banners playing some drums. Thankfully the great people at Samsung have put up huge screens to show all the Korean games which means their whines of joy will be just out of earshot so as to allow me to get a good nights sleep.

Lastly and this is my fave: The Korean equivalent of a football chant means "Victory to Korea," how do you say it you may ask, well the spelling Im unsure or but phonetically it is:

"OHHH Piss on Korea, Oh Piss on Korea Oh Oh Oh OH OH!! OH OH!"

I have a sneaky suspicion that the wishes made in this chant will be granted, Togo get drinking plenty of fluids.