The Krazy Bunch

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow,

And they knew it was much more than a hunch,

That this group would somehow form a family.

That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.

The Krazy Bunch

Ladies and gentlemen, People of all ages, creed and colour (Koreans probably not as this may offend) may I introduce the people that I live with: The Koreans, The Ko Ko's, The Kooks, The Krazy Bunch or.....The Family:

Grace: Aka: G-Shock, Gracey.

The quieter and deadlier second half of the Wendy Grace duo, For the first week I thought Grace and Wendy were Siamese twins, then I thought they were Korean twins and now I have realsised that they are not twins at all and merely just very good friends. The outfit Grace is sporting in the picture is what I'd describe as her "house clothes," a bit like the clothes equivalent of slippers. Don't get me wrong she pulls out the funk gear for such trips as post office and shops but as soon as she is back through those doors...."House clothes" are back on. A bit of a cutie and the photo does not really do her much justice. Is a bit of a thinker I reckon and definitely speaks better English than she lets on, hence Tom having to explain what "Bullshit" means. Her current fave English word is Con-cen-tra-tion.

Jin: Aka: Jin and Tonic, Ginola and PSG

Well, well, well were do we start with Jin, The man is a wounded soul in my opinion. Let me give you a quick rundown on his life history. When Jin was 18 he joined the Korean army, like all men his age, no surprise there. Once he left the army Jin became a professioanl computer gamer. He was so good infact that he made a fair bunce off it and this allowed him some time in Australia. He is even considered a minor celebrity in Korea!! However this fame and fortune has come at a cost for dear Jin, Jin used to practice for 20 hours a day and during competition he would not sleep for three days!!! He lived this lifestlyle for two whole years. This picture does not allow you to see quite how tired he always looks, howeer Jin is a gentle man, modest and kind. The other day he pointed out a ropey looking blonde girl and said she is "bootiful," to this I responded by pointing out a stunner and he said "maybe she is an angel" ha ha. Well some hours later Jin approached me and said "Tom, Where is my angel?" After being dumped by his Korean girlfriend Jin is currently looking for an angel in his life: All applicants please reply to mailbox 24.

John: Aka: Jeon, JonJon, JJ, Jon Boy, Johnjo et al.

Firstly can I say that I personally chose John's name. His family name (like Briant) is Jeon, so when he introduced himself I thought his name was John. Anywho, one night we are sitting around and Jeon decides to announce that he is thinking of using the name Matthew as his English name, Well a few wines later and I have convinced Jeon otherwise.

John is the father of the house, stern but kind, strict but gentle. John has a penchant for recylcing and has no qualms about ticking you off for not doing so. Is quite comfortable with paying me compliments and I probably have the most in depth conversations with him in the house, well barring Coops and Paul...Well Maybe. John likes nothing more than a smoke and watching films. He also served in the army as a chef and as a result is a dab hand in the kitchen.

Tay: Aka: Playboy, Tayboy, Player, Taymes Bond, Pornstar or just Porn.

The black lexus pulls up, slowly but assuringly Tay pays the driver. His light grey flannel suit crisp and fitted, His briefcase held tightly in his hand, most other men would feel some pang of nerves on the cusp of such an important business deal.

Not Tay, he is as cool as a cucumber...

Meet Tay, the house stud. Tay comes fully fitted with Model good looks, charm and a pair of grey hot pants...a size too small. Despite being a chalmer Tay is a pleasure to live with as he has OCD which means everyday is tidy day for Tay. Tay is so clean he makes bleach look dirty. Tay's speacial skills include martial arts and get this, no word of a lie he can stand up, bend over and kiss his own shins....and yes I have asked and No he cant.

Sue: Aka: Sumo, Suzee, Sexy Suze

If our house was big brother then Sue would be the one that came in last. Sue is a bit older than the rest of us and due to the fact that she looks a bit like a Thai lass Paul has a bit of a house crush on her. Unlike the other two girls in the house I reckon Sue is a bit more worldy then the rest. She has a gay mate which she is very proud of. Tay the player has his eyes on her and I think he is currently wooi-ng her with late night conversations on the balcony.

Wendy: Aka: Wendos, Wendy House, Trendy Wendy.

When it comes to clothes Wendy likes to mix it up a bit and flick the fingers to conformality. Wendy is a little cheeky monkey and is always happy and up for a laugh. She wears these huge glasses that look like windows and she does not even need them they are not perscription, she says she wears then for fashion. She like nothing more than Harry potter films and has cried through at least two films so far. Wendy once casualy asked me what blood group I was and was shocked to discover that I didn't know. She is blood type "A" by the way.

William: Aka: Big Willy, G,G,G Unit, Will I Am or Willo

William comes from a different cut of people to the rest of the Koreans. Will is a bit of a geezer in Korea I reckon and has no doubt worked on a market stall, done a bit of scrumping and probably had his finger in some hush hush pies. By day Will tiles bathrooms and Kitchens, The rest of the time he lives in the greenhouse off the lounge. Will is currently in love with an Itlaian girl, but he does not know her name, his plan: to learn all the words to Joe Cocker's: "You are so beautiful" and serinade her. If you think that is bad his origional plan was to sing a song called "Kiss Me now!!!," I just hope he has never heard "I wanna have sex on the Beach." Will loves women and I think he loves Blonde European women the best and is quite happy to have a 25minute convo about it too.

Lee and Kim: Aka: Dumb N Dumber, Electric Lee, Kamp as Krimbo Kim.

This Korean double act first performed on the stages of our flat on the first day. Paul and I were so bamboozled by the wealth of Koreans that we didn't really know who was who or who went were, Well it turns out they dont live with us despite being there when we wake and when we go to bed. I am not sure what these two are on but if they sold it there would be records broken at the next Olympics no doubt. The two happiest people I have ever met and everything I do is greeted with applauds or amazment. They love nothing more than Soccer, Manchester united and Wayne Rooney. Lee informs me that Jackie Chan is his cousin

Well thats the gang folk, They are a pleasure to live with and the great thing is that they can slag us of to high heaven and we will never know and Visa Versa, so we will never have a fall out and i f we do well I'll just shout a little which seems to scare them.

P.s All of the above IS true.